The Resiliency of Refugees: Reflections on the 45th Anniversary of April 30th

April 30, 2020
Tung Nguyen, PIVOT president

On the occasion of the 45th anniversary of April 30th, 1975, the end of the Viet Nam war and the beginning of the Vietnamese refugee diaspora, I would like to share a few words about our resiliency as Vietnamese Americans, as refugees and children of refugees.

How does it feel to have the foundation of the world we live in so shaken that we no longer know where we stand or how to move forward? Before 2020, before the COVID-19 pandemic, only those who have suffered great tragedies could answer this question. Now we are all living it.

I am reminded of something I heard on September 11th, 2001 when the World Trade Center towers fell. Americans had thought they lived outside of history. After 9-11 they were living in history.

This feeling of mass confusion and massive loss is not unfamiliar to Vietnamese Americans who are old enough to remember April 30th, 1975. And it is fitting, that what I remember as a 10 year old boy are not coherent, only images and fragments of memories. The smell of too many people living in small rooms at Tan Son Nhat airport waiting for a flight out. My cousin got us there. We didn't get out. The crush of bodies outside the American embassy. I think we were there. I no longer am sure. The chaos at the docks. Jumping onto a barge with my mother and my brother.

My father told me just this week that he remembered us jumping and he was too far away to jump with us. He remembered me shouting, “I don't want to go without my dad!” I don't remember that. He said that he felt terror that he would lose his family, but that he was sure my mother would do her job to take care of us. So, he jumped onto another barge.

To be a refugee is to take one leap of faith after another, to be willing to leave everything and everyone behind. To jettison all that is known for the great unknown.

Who does that? I know that many good and strong people never got to leave Vietnam and many good and strong people did not survive the journey. I don't know if only the strong can choose to become refugees or that those who have survived the refugee experience by necessity have to become strong. All I know is that all the Vietnamese American refugees that I know - are strong and resilient.

Our resilience comes in many different forms. Vietnamese Americans are of course proud of the famous among us, the wealthy among us and all the successful professionals. That is one way to show resilience, to be successful in all the usual ways that Americans view success, despite starting out way behind them, not speaking English and not having any money.

But there are other types of resilience. Working two jobs to send money back home to Vietnam to those less fortunate. Raising a family even though not speaking English. Forsaking a good income to work for a nonprofit organization to help people. Just living one day at a time while carrying the scars of war, pirates, reeducation camps, refugee camps. The dignity of saying nothing. The courage of always speaking up.

But in many ways, we have not made it yet. There are still many of us who are poor and dependent on government benefits, who are sick and don't get good medical care, who are lonely, sad, depressed, who are hungry, who are homeless or living in substandard housing.

After my mother, my brother and I jumped onto that barge, we were out to sea for several days. We had no food and little water. Other refugees shared what they had. When we were picked up by a ship, we found out that my dad's barge was also picked up by the same ship, so we were reunited. I can't help but think that my family's refugee story had a happy ending, not just because we were resilient, but because others helped us and because of pure luck.

There are many lessons that the COVID-19 pandemic has taught us. One is that we need a government with strong leadership to prepare and protect us. Another is that no matter what we have achieved, to many other Americans, we will always be refugees, immigrants, foreigners, and interlopers. That's what anti-Asian American racism is about, with thousands of reports of racist incidents in the last several months. Both of these lessons teach us that we must turn our strength and our resilience to an area that many refugees are not comfortable in --- that of advocacy and policy.

Another lesson from being a refugee and from the COVID pandemic is that none of us, no matter how strong or resilient, can survive alone. We are dependent on others doing the right things to keep us safe.

During this time, when so much feels outside of our control, we must take back that control. We do this by asserting that we, Vietnamese Americans, are here to stay, to live, to thrive, to care, and to lead. After 45 years, this is our home, and what we do will be our legacy.